have Saks first

last night i was up till 3:30am "cleaning." that is....going through stacks of papers and bills and yo-yos and used ear plugs and i stumbled upon two expired Credits. one to Saks, one to Nordstroms. at midnight (the wonders of email) i wrote both establishments to see if i can still use my expired credits much like the time i served expired whipped cream and cookies to jonah and his friend. (see any blog entry from last year).

WELL, i was up soooo late last night i thought nothing would get me going this a.m. I was awakened early by a friend on his way to drug testing (that didn't do it). i was then awakened by my sister in law checking in about my mother's 80th tea party tomorrow and about our 18yos double date last night....that didn't bump me into any particular kind of functional consciousness....teenage dates and geriatric tea parties? ho hum. and lastly, one of any number of doctors offices called to give me platelet and/or coumadin results for the day. that almost woke me up - but not quite.

but then...i walked downstairs to SEE the fruits of my midnight labor, the perfectly clean, long dining room table with only an Alex Katz book on it and a vase of dried flowers. the table top is so clean and devoid of Citibank statements and a month of my daugter's blood levels that you can actually see the rings left from the plastic red cups of cheap generic brew when Jonah used the beautiful spanish colonial dark wood table to play beer pong with his friends one night last month.

and i walked over to my little office, adjacent to that room and on the email were two notes back from Customer Care. one from Nordstroms, one from Saks. they wrote me back telling me that they'd be in touch with me to resolve or at least help out with whatever issue i had. that's more than certain family members would do!!! i was delighted. i felt seen and heard. and the satisfaction of Getting to the Bottom of things. i knew exactly where my expired card and certificate were because i'm temporarily SO organized. i called the numbers they left me. Customer Caring People answered. Saks Lady said she'd move the date on the $21 credit to whatever i needed her to do. And Nordstroms Caring Person said "oh don't worry about the expiration date at all! - it's ALWAYS still good."

i suddenly felt adrenline in my body. an alertness. an acuity that i didn't think possible. i think, as i get older, if i have to ever stop drinking coffee to minimize bone loss, i can instead accrue SaksFirst Points and Nordstroms Notes to wake me up. and at the rate that coffee and gasoline have gone up in price lately, i think i'll be ahead of the game.

Joey

brutal force fan base

metal mom metal sisters

Brutal Force: Makes a Mother Proud

this is my son's metal band, Brutal Force. they have a website on MySpace. aren't they adorable? that's MY guy in the front flipping the bird. do you think he might be able to go to Bard and be Ava's roommate after her Gap year at Paris Vogue's runway show in Darfur?

networking parents: the Bard chapter has begun

hi Ava--

It's Thorina. My friend Nancy (in email above) has a daughter attending Bard next fall. I thought perhaps it would be fun for you and her to connect before you go off to school!

all the best,
Thorina

hey thorina,

great idea.

ava's actually doing a gap year first. probably spending some time in cuba, a big fashion event in london in the fall, and then who knows. she'd like to teach in india or maybe africa, work at paris vogue, etc. we'll see what really happens. either way, she has to make some serious money first.

where did nancy daughter go to school? lycee?

b i l l

dear Bill,
Maddy went to public school in Santa Monica and is currently on bed rest from a serious illness with her half jewish/half el savadoran boyfriend who's kindly offered to be on bed rest with her and aid her recovery. she could probably ask for a Gap Year too but she doesn't like their jeans. she's thinking of getting a job at Cheviot Camp (at Pico and Motor) now that she can't go to Greece and drink Uzo with her best girlfriends. she loves fashion and is lucky enough to regularly inherit bags of hand me down Graham & Spencer from her dear mommy friend Leslie who works for the line but she only wears panties from Ross Dress For Less because after she wears them, Otto the dog usually eats them and it's too expensive to buy nice boy shorts knowing they'll have such a short shelf life. we like to think it's a form of recycling anyway. she gets a week or two out of the pantie, Otto gets an all natural fiber meal. and it all goes back into the earth where it began. no harm no foul. her only connection to Cuba was seeing it off the balcony off the Princess Cruise ship (or was it the Disney Line?) as her parents marriage imploded. and her knowledge of India is mostly limited to tech help for her MacBook and a great love of Chicken Tikka Mahkahni. she does however make Serious Money babysitting for the toddlers of the anesthesiologist and ER doc across the street. they pay her handsomely and they round up. she also gets dividends from bonds from her dad's side of the family who's really rich. she's got more money than her mom....who fritters away time blogging and highlighting the Fact is Funnier (and scarier) than Fiction follies of the wacked out parents who write emails like the one above with a perfectly straight face.
look forward to meeting you bill....though i don't think our girls have much in common. but, just for laughs, please keep us posted. we're dying to know which third world continent will be lucky enough to receive your daughter and we're even more excited to know which couture designer gets nabbed to dress her for the community service after "working" for Paris Vogue.

oh - and i guess you figured out. no, maddy didn't go to Lycee. she doesn't speak a word of french. a little yiddish and spanish and ghetto, but no french. sorry.
nancy