I can sell your house

meet terry and david. they can sell my house. and they've been telling me this for a very long time.
they've been dropping off those little pads of paper for almost 3 years now. especially since they ran into my ex at a 12 step meeting and *networked* that we were splitting up. sleuthing who's getting divorced in WLA is like finding a dead tenant in a NYC apt buidling. reminds me of when i lived on 77th and West End in a really weird studio apt in the 80s where you had to walk through the kitchen to get to the toilet. i was wishing to upgrade so I let my super know to contact me if anything bigger opened up. one day, there's a knock at my door and it's the Super. i open the door and he says: The lady in 11D is dead.

anyway, back to Terry and David....
they drop their little handy pads of paper on my doorstep with their little teeny tiny black and white photo wearing their Black Real Eastate Suits. they're so smart--just in case i forgot or in the event i ran out of cash in a bigger way than usual--i can do my grocery list on that pad as i'm subliminally reminded that They Can Sell My House. makes me wonder if they ran into my ex again at the celebrity AA meeting or they've got a deal going with FICO and they know how bad my credit is.

but i've got scoop on them too.

i happen to know from when i used to bump into Terry in the neighborhood and get invited to their Theme Parties that Terry has a sweater collection of about 200+ cashmeres, cottons and blends that drives David crazy. other than that they seem to have a good marriage. they both streak their hair and work out a lot at the gym. they're pretty in sync and they're always on the job--you never know who might be at the gym, newly divorced, trying to conquer depression and lose a few pounds to start dating again. and with the monthly cost of the gym and the dwindling child support...you never know who might be crashing their budget causing them to NEED to sell their house.

anyway, they might need to buy a new house themselves if she doesn't stop buying so many sweaters!

wow some women are married to such tolerant guys - my ex used Too Many Sweaters as grounds for divorce. i had so many he finally left!! then again, a la 12 step - i guess i have to own my actions. maybe i bought so many sweaters to drive him out of the house. or at least out of the closet. maybe i didn't properly acknowledge how anxious it made him that i HAD so many sweaters. and enjoyed them even as i couldn't keep track of them (just like what i do with the kids). that drove him extra crazy. enjoying stuff was a big bummer around here. well, i guess we'll never know if i drove him out of the closet....but one's things for sure: i now have plenty of room for my sweaters though not as much money to buy them since i'm on a divorce budget.

but at least i don't have to move.
sorry terry and david! i'll keep you posted if things change.