Nature's Miracle

even (and especially) the small, genetically confused ruling class dog in this house - Otto - has no boundaries. note that this product nancy just used to compensate for his latest crap in her studio is just for cats. maybe that's why it doesn't deter the dog from using the entire house but especially her office and the heating vents in the dining room as his toilet. nancy thinks that commericialism leads to the marketing of products that are specifically targeted to particular needs as a capitalist manipulation to create that need...for that product. the fact that nancy even uses the word "capitalist" betrays the stupid decade during which her brain/hard drive was formed.

as pointed out (she thinks) in previous entries but it bears repeating: Slim Fast is the same exact product as Ensure. just read the ingredients next time you're in Rite Aid, like she did. one is marketed for losing weight, one is marketed for gaining or maintaining weight. there ya go. proof of the pudding. she figures it's the same deal with Nature's Miracle.
here's nancy cleaning up just before making English Breakfast Meets California (chicken/mango bangers, potatoes, baked beans, bisquits and....avocado) for the kids as they ask nancy if Bubbie and Zaida ever cheated on each other.

fashion advice for my September date

what to wear to his ex-wife's wedding to The Coach (feet/shoes are poorly drawn, done quickly/late at night when fashion illustrator was very tired - disclaimer)

Looks are deceiving

The other night Nancy served warmed up chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's topped with expired Bon Bons and borderline okay whipped cream that sounded like poop when it came out of the can as she squirted and twirled out the last bit with a bunch of air making funny fart sounds....she topped it with perfectly fresh carmel syrup squeeze bottle topping. nancy served this to michael black and jonah when they asked to go to Cold Stone's at 10:30pm the other night and she didn't feel like taking them nor did she feeling like spending the money.
both boys were very impressed with the beautiful presentation of the platter. nancy wanted to deflect the boys away from the desire to go out. nancy thinks Deflection is one of the best tricks in the psychological book. when somebody wants something you can't give them...just distract or deflect for a bit and see if they still want it 2 hours or 2 days later. if they still do, then it's worth considering. deflection as filter for shunting out what one needs to really really respond to and aDress...and what one can discard or at least put lower on the list. michael (the guest) of course politely said Thank You Nancy..this looks great. even the visually distractable Jonah chimed in "wow".

here the boys are enjoying cereal the next morning...that nancy worries has moths in it. (addendum: nancy took a better look at this photo in Photoshop and realized she had undersold herself. the boys are eating Fresh Paninis she made them with perfectly under-expired no-nitrate Ham and Cheddar/Jack combo cheese purchased within the last two days...squished to perfection in her panini maker with healthy olive oil on fresh whole grain sour dough bread from Trader Joes. so there!!)

but back to the honesty of the previous moment/image/carmel platter....jonah knows better. jonah knows his mom. the fancy dessert wasn't lost on him. he tasted a bon bon. it had freezer burn. he asked how long they'd been lying around. i poker-faced "hmm. not sure..." though i was indeed sure they weren't fresh and that's the point. would it hurt them? no it wouldn't. do bon bons go bad? thankfully he didn't even mention the possibility of the whipped cream being sour. i tasted it. it was...pretty much okay. with all the carmel slathered over it.

i go through these mothering decisions all day long. worrying i'm not really up for the job...but deflecting negative self loathing voices with jokes and things that Look Good. just like the girl in Fred Segal the other day who wore really really short shorts and chunky heels to show off her great gams and distract away from her meeskeit face....

smoke and mirrors. hotpants and dark glasses. carmel and bon bons.

cleaning out the closet

preparing for Yom Kippur

"mom! are you taking pictures of yourself??" jonah just yelled from the next room. sammy told him to shut up and leave me alone. she understands. she's a little exhibitionist too. i just explained to both of them that i'm cleaning out my closet by wearing whatever is on the floor in there. and i must photograph the outfit to attain some objectivity on it. back to third person....

today nancy discovered this wonderful white tee shirt she got on sale at Madewell. still had the tag on. this is first run and she's liking it. the jeans are Levi skinnies and they are way snug. red flip flops are the foot uniform of course (it's still summer) and she's adorned the New Orleans Fleur de Lils with a long loopy chain of unknown metal that is delicate and lovely and was a gift from nancy grant who has excellent taste. reminds this nancy that she hasn't yet given that nancy anything for her birthday back in july...must take of that IMMEDIATELY. before Break Fast at that nancy's next month or this nancy will have way too much to atone for.

Joint Custody

august 9

nixon resigned, jerry garcia died, nancy throws a birthday party for her ex. pix to follow....must go get the bed out of the living room before the guests arrive!