a friend of a dear friend's 16yo boy is hanging on to life support today. his name is Zalman. everyone is being asked to pray for him. i worry that i don't know how to pray. especially for someone i don't know that well. as a mother of course i can empathize. but i feel inept when it comes to praying. and it makes me feel like i'm a bad person. but i think it's no accident that i've been threatening to paint a picture of my 15yo son for the last year, wanting so badly to capture this painful but exquisitely dear moment in his life where he's growing over night but his nose doesn't match his knees and he still asks me to sit with him when he's scared but finds me incredibly embarrassing. he's got pimples and random hairs but the prognosis is very good that he's on his way to being incredibly handsome. he sleeps with his ugly doll and 3 animals and his voice is as deep as his fathers. he's the man of the house since his dad doesn't live here and but he got caught and bopped in the eye for playing Ding Dong Ditch with his friends last week. he's my Jonah. and i finally got off my lazy ass and painted this fleeting moment of his precious awkwardness before it turns into something else. it's my prayer for Ben and Marlene's Zalman. it's not finished yet. i'll keep praying, i'm mean painting.
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