Today, as Maddy got ready for her first AYSO Girls' soccer game of the year, she yelled out "Mom, do you have a Sports Bra?" then Maddy dug through her underwear drawer and produced this black and red push up deal from Victoria Secret and asked with absolutely no irony or humor whatsoever if this could qualify as a Sports Bra.
Nancy said "No, but i need to blog this."
Maddy yelled at Nancy that there wasn't time for that. She needed Nancy to go get cold water bottles from the back fridge. But Nancy ignored her and swiftly stopped by Photobooth, took two shots over her pajama top, then dashed upstairs and got Maddy an orange halter 34B sports bra to borrow for today's game. As they stuffed Maddy's gravity defying C-cups into the front locking harness, they both agreed it wasn't a perfect fit but it would hold "them" in place for today. Then Nancy produced two ice cold water bottles. One for each breast.
Perhaps the reason Maddy seriously asked if this cheesy decorative Vegas Showgirl number qualified as a Sports Bra had everything to do with the fact that Nancy, Maddy and Jonah had just finished watching an episode and a half of Real World on MTV. The catfighting, skimpy attired 20-something reality show has now become their favorite. They love watching the bitchy beautiful girls fight and they can't wait to see who'll hook up Isaac and who'll steal Dunbar away from his girlfriend. Nancy and her kids plan to finish watching the white trash second episode later tonight On Demand, after Maddy finishes working with her $200/hr College Counselor who promises to get her into an intellectually selective college.
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