home delivery

today, in an effort to pathetically improve upon my remedial time/management skills, i can still hear my jerry lewis licking ex quasi mother in law yelling at me to "delegate! delegate! nancy you've got to delegate more!" and she wasn't talking Election 08, she was giving lessons in domestic oppression circa 1998 and power management plugs as she draped a neo-faux feminist shekina shmata on her head on shabbat...that is, when she wasn't swimming in St Bart or hosting a Moca fundraiser or serving her witches brew of El Savdoran made chicken soup..

so, as i slog thru my ambivalence of this particular super delegate diatribe...maybe she was right??...look what a mess my house is! and as i feel pretty much the same disillusionment watching the democratic party threaten to slug itself out clawing for super delegates this summer) and as i try desparately to maintain the Audacity of Hope and not succumb to my very own Senioritis as my burnt out highschool senior justifiably experiences hers.....in the middle of ALL this.....i innocently write Vons.com today to ask them for my password and to finally give the home delivery thing a shot. you know, to efficiently order a few things online so that i could be doing something More Important with my time - like bond with the kids watching lipstick lesbians have sex on The L word or analyze marriages falling apart on In Treatment or watch rock bands beat adversity as they work thru botched pyrotechnics on Behind the Music with Metallica on VHI....

or better yet, snuggle up on the couch with my two cuties to watch Obama hopefully win Wisonsin today.

but two minutes after i write Vons.com to confirm my "password" i get an email back from Safeway.com.
and that didn't make me feel safe in any way....or time-managed.
AAAKKKK!!! that made me feel even more overwhelmed and confused.
and sad about the state of our union and where to buy Fruit Loops.

i don't like ordering 2 percent milk from Vons.com and hearing back from Safeway. it makes me paranoid.
am i over-reacting?

i think i better just go drive and get the milk myself.
i'll recognize the streets and the logo. and maybe even the brand of milk. and maybe i'll take one of my kids along and i'll recognize them too. i dont' want to know that Vons is owned by Safeway and probably Time/Warner too. and funded by the US Military backed by oil in Saudi Arabia.
and i dont' want to find out about it on the email like a dirty piece of porn your ex is hiding.

i feel so sad that no one is who they say they are anymore. least of all me.
hillary.com is mcCain.net
Edwards idealists are now Obama lynchers.
and supposedly "seasoned" and educated democrats who justifiably but viciously and rightiously complained for the last seven years that Bush used the word "Nucular" are now mad at Barack for speaking too well??!!!!! and because he speaks so well, there's no substance?????

i want to hit somebody.

and ALL THIS because i set out to save time and try to be a better mom and order my Cocoa Puffs online.
now i'm more depressed and immoblized and confused than ever.

go away Vons and Safeway and AOL.
i'm going to go to Trader Joes to get milk. i love the small irregular size and shape of the store and the big cool white jug they put the milk in...and the goofy hawaiian shirts everyone wears and the charming inefficent anti-urban planning of the parking lot. it feels familiar and flawed and of inimitalble human scale. i'm sorry Vons but i'm really mad at you for being Safeway. and for having to find this out on the email like a sleazy affair.

and i just dont' have any more hours in the day to consider corporate take overs when i just wanna make sure there's enough milk for the cereal and the red velvet cake with the toxic food coloring i'm going to feed to my to my two darling bottomless pit calcium absorbing teenagers.