whore moan replacement therapy

this is when you like someone again after you thought you wouldn't--after you finally got over feeling so bad over how many times you did that and it didn't work out. and the nasty somnambulant sex drive wakes you up moaning like your beautiful bitchy teen titty daughter does every summer day at 1:30 in the afternoon, calling you upstairs from her cell phone in her squishy bed, asking what's for breakfast when it's already past lunch. it's when the whore/madonna ratio spills over like your bubble bath, and you stop acting like such a nice neutered mom and instead you moan all grown like the slut you really are.

this is also called dating in your 50s.

it's an alternative to Hormone Replacement Therapy which is even more common at your age and though you're not there yet, it's a frequent topic of conversation among your Peer(less) group. that kind of hormone replacement requires a prescription and a little insertable *joy ring* so i hear...which your Cobra insurance doesn't cover right now anyway.

you figure Whore Moan Replacement therapy is cheaper--you can do it on your own in the bath or after a $5.50 bottle of wine from trader joes with your *date*---and it's less paperwork, the latter of which you were never very good at anyway.