Today Jonah is drawing: Pinuskstan

Jonah's history class was asked to draw a map of a new country. He "came up" with Pinuskastan. As one enlightened branding executive from the east coast (who also happens to be Jonah's Life Coach) asserts: "It should be pointed out that the pinus was indeed a weapon developed during Balkan conflict delivering a chemical liquid payload. Looking at it now, it does coincidentally seem to resemble a penis."

And that wasn't lost on Mr. Gow, Jonah's history teacher--though he couldn't be quite so genealogically and genitally generous. He had to protect his job in the litigious environment of today's public schools. Therefore, a day after Jonah presented the "map" in class, Mr Gow presented me with the goldenrod copy of Jonah's discipline form. On the form there were lots of little teeny tiny boxes to check off for such transgressions as Possessing a Firearm, Dress Code Violation, and Cutting Class. Since there was no box to check off for Drawing a Penis as a Country, Mr. Gow dutifully filled out the Behavior Description as follows: Jonah Nimoy along with five other boys drew a penis as part of a group poster which they presented to the class. The group also made lewd comments as they were presenting. I kept the entire group after class and spoke with them. I also called Jonah's mother and spoke with her. The entire group apologized to the class and agreed to two days of detention.

I signed my copy and sent it back to school to be filed with the canary copy which goes into the Discipline File.

In summation, though Jonah clearly suffers from genetic boundary issues, this Jewish mother is happy to see he has a good moral compass. And despite the many thousands of dollars spent on his Bar Mitzvah buying crazy hats and light up necklaces, the lessons of his torah portion and responsiblity to the Jewish people is not lost on him. #1. Pinuskastan clearly lives in harmony with Israel in what is otherwise a hostile and anti-semitic region--note the powerful and fluid placement of jewish stars. no oppressive self-hating jew stuff for this kid. #2. the penis is large and circumcised and sensitively rendered which displays excellent self esteem, empowerment and fine motor skills. #3. If we can get Jonah through 10th grade without too much more detention - and if the writer's strike gets resolved - perhaps he can actually find gainful employment as a story board artist for Sasha Baron Cohen which is way more than his mother can pull off.